In the context of Windows Vista, an "Asshat" is a person who steals the operating system, uses it illegally, never patches it - ever, and then complains about it endlessly and publicly.
There are of course, degrees of Asshat-edness, orders, if you will... I'll get to the order of the asshat in a moment...
Since Asshats steal Vista and do not pass Windows Genuine Advantage (WGA) validations, they never patch the operating system. Asshats never apply new drivers, or performance and reliability updates - they just ***, piss, moan, whine and complain about how poorly Windows Vista runs on the hardware they manage to scrape together.
Asshats vigorously attack Windows Vista in public forums and viciously assail any user of Vista who so much as likes the new operating system. Microsoft Partners are not business people in the minds of asshats, they are shills - mindlessly supporting Microsoft's domination of the world.
Typical Asshat behaviors include:
An average asshat will declare anything coming from Microsoft as evil - all while they continue to use stolen copies of the company's software.
Be careful... some asshats are smart people - clever and they confuse by intent.
Many asshats have junior asshats as friends - lesser asshats within an order of asshats. Some asshats are clever enough to hide the true depth of their asshat-edness. These are especially dangerous as they appear harmless and they are very subtle - but asshats just the same.
Asshats come in many forms, but they are most often single Caucasian males with "members" that more closely resemble a child's thumb rather than anything of interest to a woman. Asshats have a great deal of time <because they rarely work> that they use to talk about how much they hate Windows Vista and Microsoft, Republicans, The United States, and its President, George W. Bush <you see, in the mind of an asshat, they are all the same, and all equally bad>. To an asshat a cigar is never just a cigar and shoes rarely have laces in them.
Asshats swear that Service Pack 1 for Windows Vista is the end all and should have shipped when the operating system first entered production - they'll steal a copy of Vista SP1, too, and then declare any law abiding user a liar who had been applying performance and reliability patches all along, and had a great Windows Vista experience. To an asshat, Microsoft Partners, OEM's and Systems Builders that design systems, sell legal copies of the operating system and work like mad to make a great Vista based computer, are all liars, sellouts and "Microbots."
Some asshats are uber clever - they host radio and podcast shows and very carefully select and place words along a path of leading questions - all designed to cast doubt on the value and benefits inherent to Windows Vista. Most asshats however, are just blunt instruments without much imagination, skill, or purpose.
To help people identify various types of asshats, I have prepared a list under the order of the asshat - my own opinion about what makes an asshat... well... an asshat...
The Order of the Asshat
Chief Asshats - they are masters of all above
General Asshats - these actively bomb Windows related forums with useless drivel
Stupid Asshats - forum trolls that could not write or spell their way out of a wet sack
Freaking Asshats - *Nix fanatics that run Windows, but claim to know and only use a Linuces distribution
Able Asshats - *nix fanatics that really do use a Linuces, or Unices, but steal restricted packages to run proprietary software designed to make their *nix machine about half as useful as a Windows PC
Apple Asshats - these guys actually believe that spotlight didn't suck and didn't come "after" Microsoft's Instant Search was demonstrated and Windows Search shipped years ahead of it.
OSS/FOSS Asshats - these guys don't really use open source software, and they don't know Microsoft is the best open source developer there is
Smarmy Asshats - these are oily little men that only view software from the limited perspective of the client computer - they ignore servers, services and related software
Blogging Asshats - these are pseudo journalists that installed Windows Vista long enough to *** about it
Convicted Asshats - these are special asshats that insist, that no matter the evidence presented, that no one can run Vista well at all
So there you have it - my description of what an Asshat is and what they do <not much at all>. Asshats are all over the web - you'll find them in every Windows forum and news site - all greased up and ready to take on the world.
You'll know when you come across an asshat - your skin will break out in a rash and the taste of vomit will be unmistakable in the back of your throat. Avoid them if you can; ignore them if at all possible, but if you can't, add your own asshat examples here.
Asshat encounters...it's enough to make a guy actually like WGA validations...